Givens.

Life has it's ups and downs, and fuck off if you want to tell me I'm being repetitive in my posts.. I know I am.

The point of this post isn't to tell you to go after the one that got away or to chase your dreams or to find that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. 

Those are all a given. 

I'm writing tonight to tell you guys to always follow your heart. Today I've been faced with a minor financial hiccup in my life, and after a few hours of brewing over it and worrying, I'm finally feeling happier.Yes, I have student debt. Yes, I could have chosen to go into the workforce. But I want something better for myself. For my future kids and future husband. I want a plaque on my wall that shows accomplishment in my life; To prove to anyone that has ever doubted me that I can achieve anything. But more importantly I want to prove to myself that I can be whoever I want to be, and for me that involved going into debt. 

And so after nights like this I pick myself back up and dust off the dirt on my pants, shake my head and realize I live a life full of bliss, and I should never worry about the future. I am where I am for a reason, in the debt I'm in for a reason, sitting at this computer at this exact moment for a reason; because this is where I'm meant to be. I couldn't be luckier to be leading this life of mine. Cherish every second possible; A life of woes is not one to look back on. 

Believe.

Life is good. So so so good. This week has been somewhat of a blur with many things due and a lot of events to be going to, but it's been good. I'm getting all my work for my classes done quickly, I'm getting good grades and I'm happy to be where I am. Looking forward to the future, this summer is lining up really nicely and next fall is looking great as well.

I could go on about how much I don't want to leave my school for four months because I love it so much, or I could also be dreading next semesters tuition bill; but I actively choose not to. Everything affects us in life one way or another, and it's all about how we look at the situation and handle it. Any situation we're placed in can be handled by ourselves, we just have to use the courage from within to overcome these situations and obstacles, or to actively choose not to let a situation affect us negatively. As humans we are instinctively strong..So when you're feeling down, get back up on that horse and show this world what you're made of, because I can bet it's leaps and bounds beyond what you were like off the horse. Believe in yourself, and you're unstoppable. 

Gay (Better known as Pat)

A lot of people ask me about being gay, and about coming out of the closet. I totally get the curiosity from people around me; i go to a catholic college, and I'm one of a few gays, so many people here aren't used to being around a gay, or rather don't believe in gay marriage, etc.
Being gay is not a choice. And if you think otherwise you probably are not going to like the rest of this post. Being gay also is not anyone's identity. Do any of you straight people identify or introduce yourself to someone by saying you're straight? No. You don't. And that's one problem with being gay. So many people ask you what it's like, when in reality it's just like their heterosexual selves. Just because we're gay doesn't mean we love differently. We just love a different sex. And currently are facing a huge social injustice, but in time it will get better. I have faith in that.
 Now this isn't to say being gay isn't great; it honestly is. I love who I am and to be growing up as a gay person in such a controversial time in history is somewhat of an honor. So when people ask me about being gay, I don't give it much thought anymore; I'm gay, but gay isn't me. I'm Pat, that freakishly tall kid walking around campus. People don't call me gay to get my attention..They call me Pat. Because that's who I am.
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Do it.

March 11th and it's over 50 degrees out. In New England these are the days lived for between the mountains of melting snow and biting wind.

I just got back from running errands.  I had my sunroof open, window cracked, best friend by my side, and in that moment everything potentially "wrong" in my life escaped me. I'm living the best life possible for myself and while I find it easy to sulk in my sorrows, I'm beginning to find it equally as easy to be glorious in all of the good of my life. This time on earth is all we have, and I'm happy to be able to spend it with my incredible family and friends. 

Life is absolutely what you make of it. I know my blog doesn't have a clear direction, only a theme of living life to the fullest. Do it. You want those reflections of your life to be nothing but happiness and love. 

Small Victory

This week I'm home for Spring break. I love being home- my parents spoil me and I soak it in, because I miss their daily presence in my life. I thrived off having them by my side, and I would be lying if I said I didn't miss them while I'm at school.
But one thing I cherish is the new relationship I have with my parents. Although I am an "adult" and I have full independence, my parents almost treat me like an equal now a days. But they will always be teaching me and raising me, even though I may not be a kid anymore.
I explained to my mom the other day that someone I know is going through a personal struggle and that it's hard for me to watch considering I dealt with something similar, but I'm not supposed to know.
She cut me off. "Well, that's ok." [That this person is dealing with it personally.]
It was the simplest comment someone had made to me regarding this situation but it made so much sense. I have spent far too long contemplating the idea that I need to help this person through something I'm not even supposed to know about, but all my mom had to say was it's ok for them to be experiencing this. And that's when I realized it too. It's ok. It will be ok, my friend will be ok and everything will be ok. I don't need to be fixer, I just need to be a friend. And maybe when the day and timing work out, my friend will be able to approach me for help or guidance and I will give them the world of guidance and support.
When and if you're faced with a situation like this, just keep being the friend you are. People appreciate that more than you will ever know.
Small revelations like these...They are what make living on this earth worth while.